Their welfare at this time is my top priority. It is extremely difficult when in a volatile state to keep calm and not argue around them. It is exhausting.
I fear my husband will use my writing and my desires against me. To try to prove they make me a bad mom and take my sweet peas from me. I want to follow my desires, but I can’t and won’t risk losing my kids. My husband knows this… and uses it whenever possible to hurt, scare and get back at me for not doing or being who he wants me to be.
How does one balance all this in a society where people think anything not standard is wrong and bad. I am unique. My kids are unique. I want them to follow their own path through life and be happy with who they are… not what society thinks they should be. I fear all of this stress and arguing has already done damage. They don’t understand the anxiety in the house is not because of them, is not theirs. They are too young.
I’m at a loss on what to do next.
Thanks for listening.