The Next Step.
Well this weekend I officially moved out of the house my hubby and I used to share. I rented a house of my own. I moved me and my two kids across town (30 miles and an hour commute) to a more affordable larger house.
Close friends that have been through this kept telling me that my emotions would change when I finally moved. That I would have difficulties…
Well to some degree each one of them were right.
So what am I feeling?
Well seeing I moved across town and away from my all of my close friends… I am lonely. It is not like any of them can just stop by and say “hey… thought I would come check out the new place.” (I would love that if they did) Add to that that cell service here is sketchy at best so I have not really talked to family or friends since landing. I didn’t even have anyone to help me move. I had to hire movers. (Though I think in a way that may have been good for me. It showed me I can do it alone. Plus… Having 200+lbs of handsome muscle men hit on you when your moving can only help your mood!) I also realize I will make new friends down here. That I will in just a few weeks start getting to know my neighbors.
I’m excited! Really excited. I see this move as the FIRST MAJOR step to following “the dream that my heart dreams.” I can’t very well take any relationship with another man seriously, let alone the kind I crave, while I’m still living with my soon to be Xhubby.
I was worried about my kids. Then today while all three of us were taking a bath in my supper duper soaking tub my son looked at me and said. “Mommy I love you. I love my sister” then he paused, a huge smile spread across his face and he said “And I love your new house.” I can’t tell you what that meant to me. It brought tears to my eyes. It made me realize that he and my daughter will be okay anywhere as long as they are with me and have my love.
I am anxious. I now really want to push for the official filing and I don’t want any pieces missing. I want to submit with it all there. Parenting plan, All assets split etc. I don’t want to submit more later and I can’t afford more mediation now that I have my own place. So This is it! If all goes the papers will be filed on Tuesday the 15th and then 90 days later I will be unentangled and ready to fully enjoy what life brings me.