I have done a lot of soul searching of late thinking of my past relationships and why I made the decisions I made. I compromised on a lot of my desires. I don’t regret my decisions, they have made me who I am today. I just don’t want to make those same compromises again.
This time I want confidence and strength to partner me in my life. The problem is whenever I have pursued this type of man throughout my life they have run screaming “we can be friends” in the opposite direction from me as soon as I express my serious interest. 🙁
(What that means is eek… Hell no! I don’t want a relationship with you…lol)
I also know that because of my past experience with this beast of man, I have a small fear that they will run when I encounter them in the wild.
This comes out in my actions when around them. What I think I need to do when I do encounter this beast is to view him as a friend nothing more. But if I do that, then I have a another problem. You see when I meet a guy that sparks me, I have difficulty keep my hands to myself.
So I will fidget and keep fisting my hands behind my back only to finally touch the guy and say unconvincingly “Lets be friends”… I will come off as an insane lunatic and that will be his cue to… run! And say as he heads full speed in the opposite direction “yes, we can be JUST friends.” LOL