Lacy Danes

Nov 9
I have had one hell of a week. Dramatic ups… mixed with numbness.
I had a friend visit from Denmark this past week. We had a great time. Went sight seeing, had wine out with two of my other friends, he cooked me breakfast and made me laugh. It was a good time. After he left I had one of the most difficult conversations of my life. More difficult than the conversation I had when I was leaving my X. not quite as difficult as telling my kids but… any way.

I have had an off and on relationship over this past year with a man who has manipulated and lied to me. This week I finally told him that I simply could not have contact with him… that I needed to heal and being even friends with him did not allow that to happen.
It was had because even though he has been horrid to me, I still care about him. I know more about him in some senses than I ever did my X but I lost trust in him.

I deserve to be happy with someone who is there for me always who does not put only his emotions and feelings in the forefront. I am a pleaser by nature… but I have learned a valuable lesson… your actions need to be cherished by who you are trying to please. If they are not you will end up pouring yourself into something that will have no happy ending. Only a bottomless pit of despair

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